Blade Maidens: Shorts – Belonging in G Minor – 1
“Things hurt, but not like they used to. I’ve been shot a dozen times. Stabbed even more. It stings at first, but the healing kicks in faster every time. I think my body is learning. Coming to terms with its new reality. I can’t say that I hate it.
I don’t have to worry about my voice as much anymore. My father’s dirty habit now passed down. Again. Thank Mara I took his case when I did, I suppose. Can’t run from who you are and where you came from, no matter how much I try. I can feel it in my lungs. Brief and sweet. But it doesn’t stay. Immunity at a cost.
It’s not so bad, I feel strong, and not to mention fast. Damn fast. I can run and I can move and I can feel things better than I did before – I can smell things, touch things, experience things that I didn’t even know existed – didn’t even know I could – and now I don’t think I’d ever want to go back. I couldn’t.
And it hurts, of course it hurts, the way it feels when my body becomes another and the numbness that follows before the sensations come back…but fuck. I’m alive. I lived despite the fact that I shouldn’t have and now everything feels so temporary and permanent all at once. Transient between towns and villages and people who don’t know who I am and don’t care and it. Doesn’t. Matter. That’s freeing.
Maybe I’m just talking myself in circles so I don’t have to grapple with the fact that I’m alone. But I was always so damn lonely, what’s the difference in whether someone is there to witness the wallowing or not?
Night’s Mother is a crescent, Little Sister is full tonight. I like these ones because I can remember a little bit more in the morning, and I don’t usually get into too much trouble. I’m going to try and keep this up. Help with everything.See if the whole process gets easier or my bones ache less.
So far it’s just as fresh as the first time.
M.H. 12 Harvestmark 874″
– A leatherbound journal with matching tie, found abandoned on the road and kept by Paloma Pom, a librarian in the town of Cruso.