Blade Maidens: Strays – 21

“Hi Dad,

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

I fucked up. I didn’t want you to know. Didn’t want you to worry. I just.

I’m sorry.


I’m a werewolf. I got turned a few years ago. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to be this. I got attacked. Turned into a fucking monster.

I tried for a while. I really did. Kept it hidden. Made excuses. But I couldn’t keep it up. Ollie thought I was a drunk. Eren thought I didn’t care about any of them. I just. Didn’t want to hurt them. Didn’t want them to see what happened. So I left. Better they think that than they get hurt.

I thought I’d get used to it. Sometimes I think I am. The rhythm of the moons. Working out a system. Making it normal. But

I can hear my bones crack. My teeth scrape. It hurts so much, Dad. Every time. My hands break and mend and break again. When the claws come it. It’s cold. They go numb. I hear them come out and retract but I don’t feel it. I. I’m scared one day they won’t go back. They’ll just be cold and quiet forever. And when the moons are in phase I lose myself. I just. I’m there but I’m not. I’m a little voice trying to sing in a howling choir of beasts.

Sometimes I like it. Letting go. Being part of the beast. It’s freedom. It’s alive. Full of hot blood and unbound energy, running through the woods and smelling the world around me. It feels perfect. Then I wake up naked in a ditch with blood on my hands and I don’t know where I am. Who I may have hurt.

I’m tired. I just. I want you and Poppa to hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay. I want my bed. I want a bed for more than a few nights. I want to be a person again.

I love you. I’ll come home. I. We can figure something out. I don’t know but I know you’ll know what to do. I miss you so m–”

– An unsent letter from Melody Havensbrook, found in a tattered knapsack