Blade Maidens: What Fools These Mortals Be – 26

“It’s always a strange thing knowing one’s self.

I’m often described as confident, or so I’m told. I suppose I am. Royal upbringing, choosing my name, years on the road with a blade by my side. Hard not to develop a certain…surety. However, it wasn’t until that encounter with Morganna that I feel I truly earned that particular title

Trapped in the Space Between, unsure if Ser and Melody were even still living, I was backed into a corner and made the only choice I could. It was in the telling that I realized what my answer truly meant. What knowing yourself truly means. Rather than clinging to a singular vision of who Rowan Lilaceae is, who she should be. I took solace in what she could be.

My final answer to the Fae Queen opened an infinite kaleidoscope of possibilities, flashing before me. An endless sea of, well, me. Yet, no matter how wild the divergence, how little I recognized, I knew they were still *me*.

They chose their path. Whether it was in a castle or a muddy ruin. Each and everyone one of them made a choice to live their lives as they felt they needed to. I have no clue whether their journeys were far harsher than mine, or even remotely similar, but they took one nonetheless. That is what I held onto. That no matter what twisted vision of magic Morganna Queen threw my way, it was always one crafted by my choices.

That’s why I don’t call myself confident. Well, aside from how terribly obnoxious that would be to begin with. Because confidence isn’t what I’ve earned. It’s peace. Knowing that as long as I do rings true for Rowan, no matter if it ends up being a fruitless exploration, then I’m on the right path forward.

Although it does little to assure taking the next step on said path wouldn’t prove more challenging than expected, as Morganna would soon remind me…”

– An entry in the Lilaceae Family Annals, dated 7 Harvestmark, 914